Chapter 5

I can totally do this.  It's just another chapter, right?  *pushes up sleeves and wades in*

Quick Summary

Okay, so we end the last chapter with Ana passing out.  She wakes up in this chapter in a hotel room, in Christian Grey's suite.  She's quite shocked to find that she's been stripped of her jeans, socks and shoes.  Be thankful girl.  Sleeping in jeans is not a fun experience.  Even better, Christian has laid out the much needed morning after pack, two advil and a glass of orange juice.  She pegs him, yet again, as a control freak.  I take umbridge at this.  That's the sign of someone who's been on the other side of the morning after.  Just say thanks and down the tablets girl.

So, tablets downed, there's a knock on the door and Christian walks in all hot and sweaty from his workout.  Gratuitous sweat soaked, hang off the hips sweatpants, sweaty haired Christian...  Sorry where was I?  Oh yes.  Um...  So I might have a thing for the image.

Anyway, Ana asks some questions and finds out that Christian cares more about his car than taking her home (given that she was covered in vomit, I can understand that), that Christian stripped her, and that they didn't have sex.  We can all breathe a sigh of relief at that.  Don't worry, the sexy times were not off screen and you didn't miss anything between the chapter break.  There's a little scolding, there's a little teasing and there are one or two dangerous hints to a darker side of Christian.

Okay, okay, so we know where Christian is taking this relationship but to the uninitiated, there are hints of a BDSM contract and spanking.  Happy now?  We get a bit of a peek behind the curtain and a little bit of foreshadowing but don't worry.  It's only foreshadowing future sex and not the mythical plot that we've been searching for like some leather grail hidden between the pages.

There's a shower scene, there's breakfast and clothes and breakfast (which Christian makes Ana eat).  We get some hints of Christian the businessman.  We also find out that Christian is not celibate.  Aren't you all happy about that?  But then we find out that Christian slept with Ana in the 'just sleeping' sense and that just sets off all my perv alarms.

Then with a final bang to the chapter Christian delivers the most romantic line in history:

“Oh, fuck the paperwork,” he growls.

and kisses the everloving crap out of her and blows her tiny little mind.

My Thoughts

I still have major issues with Ana and Christian but I'm going to set those bits aside for the moment.  Right, onto the sex and BDSM bits.  What?  I know why you'll are reading this blog.  This chapter has been the most overtly sexual so far and it had me cringing more than a little.

Okay, let's take it from the top of the chapter, shall we?  As I said in the summary, there's quite a lot of not-so-thinly-veiled references to BDSM and BDSM practices in this chapter.  The most obvious would be this:

“You’re lucky I’m just scolding you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if you were mine, you wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week after the stunt you pulled yesterday.[...]"

Okay, so hands up who flagged this as a spanking?  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out why she wouldn't be able to sit down.  I know it's a figure of speech, but do you know how hard you have to be hit for the effects to last for a week?  I'm going to go out on a fairly sturdy limb here and upgrade the spanking to the possibility of either a caning, a flogging or a whipping.  It's going to be a punishment no matter what instrument is going to be used and it's going to hurt.

What does Ana's mind immediately jump to?  The 'if you were mine'.  *sigh*  Yes, that's right.  She starts going off on a tangent on how she'd love to be his and doing an internal happy little hula dance.  Notice that she completely ignores the fact that he just said that he was going to tan her ass for her.  Priorities girl, get some!

“You are quite the disciplinarian,” I hiss at him.
“Oh, Anastasia, you have no idea.”

Truer words have never been spoken.  She's so far out of her depth that the consequences are totally flying past her head, about five feet higher than her head. 

Okay, so we've looked at the fact that she is completely clueless.  But then this happens:

“I’d like to bite that lip,” he whispers darkly. [...]
“Why don’t you?” I challenge quietly.
“Because I’m not going to touch you Anastasia - not until I have your written consent to do so.”

I've heard of a written invitation, but is that what he's saying?  I really don't think so.  And spoilers, I know what's coming and that's not what he's saying.  He's talking about a contract.  He's talking about a BDSM contract that will give him rights over Ana that she will sign and so will he.  But enough of that for now.  He's said that he's not going to touch her without written consent.  Good enough.

But a few minutes later, he says:

“Oh, fuck the paperwork,”

and kisses her anyway.  Wow, I love a man who can stick to his moral convictions.  But back a little bit.  I'm getting ahead of myself a little.  After the whole 'written consent' issue, Christian again gives us a view that it's not simply a small thing by telling Ana that once she is 'enlightened', she'll probably want to run for the hills.  Her mind goes to slavery (hah!), crime, religion and impotency.  There's a gradual incline in the slope that her mind takes so that we're left thinking that impotency is the worst possible thing in the world, much worse than child-slavery or underworld crime syndicates.  For the love of pants girl, get some priorities.  Yes, of course impotency is worse than child-slavery.  I mean, isn't it up there on the UN charter of human rights or something?  And all men shall have access to a doctor to make sure that they can get their rocks off when they need to.  It's in there buried between right to happiness (Oh yeah baby!) and right of religious expression (Oh God, Oh Jesus), yeah?  No?  Must just be my imagination then.  Oops.  Silly me.

So, after stripping her, Christian sends one of his minions out to get clothes.  The underling gets Ana underware.  Perfectly fitting underwear.  Perfectly fitting sexy underwear.  Uh huh.  That's a bit of an intimate thing to do.  So how did he know the size?  How did he know the perfect fit?  I'll come back to that later.

Anyway, Christian organises a date and boy howdy is he showing off in style.  He's got a helicopter that he's going to use to fly the distance from Ana's to Seattle.  That's exactly how I want my first date to go: loud and needing headphones to hear what the other person is saying, oh and don't forget the possibility of air traffic control listening in and watching your every shake of the rudder.

“Finish your breakfast.”
“Eat,” he says more sharply.
“I can’t eat all this.”
“Eat what’s on your plate.”
[...]
“Good girl,” he says.

Wow, patronising or what?  Oh my God, Christian, way to reveal the daddy kink.  Guys, never, ever do this.  It's wrong on so many levels.  Okay, seriously, I know that there are some people in the world who get off on being appetite controlled (i.e. having someone say what and how much they are allowed to eat) but for the love of trousers, stop it.  You sound like you're talking to a child, not an, arguably, grown, if still blissfully naive, twenty-something year old woman.  You eat what's on your plate.  You haven't made any committments to her.  Saving her from her own drunken foolishness does not entitle you to tell her what to eat.  I mean...  Really?

And then we get to the really, really screwy bit:

“Where did you sleep last night?” I turn to gaze at him still sitting in the dining room chair. I can’t see any blankets or sheets out here – perhaps he’s had them tidied away.
“In my bed,” he says simply, his gaze impassive again.
“Oh.”
“Yes, it was quite a novelty for me too.” He smiles.
“Not having… sex.” There – I said the word. I blush – of course.
“No,” he shakes his head and frowns as if recalling something uncomfortable. “Sleeping with someone.” He picks up his newspaper and continues to read.
What in heaven’s name does that mean? [...] And it dawns on me that I have slept with Christian Grey.

Let's just pause for a moment here.  Christian Grey has a suite in the hotel and isn't shy about flaunting his money around, but instead of getting a cot sent up or sleeping on the couch, he crawls in beside a woman he barely knows and goes to sleep.  As a woman, I find that so totally creepy that I would be out of there so fast that I'd set the carpet on fire.  It's one thing for her to say that it's okay to sleep in the same bed, but for him to just do it sets off so many of my creep factor alarms that I really, really am not comfortable with Christian's character.  Okay, so maybe it's a deep and dark kink of the authors but that's just a little too close to uncomfortable for me.  I mean, she says that nothing happened, but seriously, apart from his word, how can you tell?

You can't.

He stripped your jeans off you because they were supposedly covered in vomit - awesome - which leaves you in your panties.  Have you checked to make sure that nothing was touched?  How can you tell?  He could have had a quick fumble around, but because of his sterling character traits (have you seen them yet?  need to borrow my magnifying glass?) we're just going to take his word for it. Maybe that's how they knew exactly how big she was.  Christian and his minion had a good grope around under the covers and sized Ana up for smalls.  What?  You can't say it didn't happen because we don't know what happened during those intervening hours.  But it's just supposition.

Honestly, if he told us that he took the couch, I'd be a lot more forgiving of his character.  I was starting to warm up to him and then he drops a clanger like this.

Boys, sit down a second.  I want to tell you something.  If you pull a white knight moment and save her from getting snogged to death by a guy who can't take no for an answer, don't follow it up immediately by hopping into bed with her while she's unconscious and then just relying on your word that you didn't have a quick fumble with her while she was unconscious.  And yes, we will worry about that the second we find out that you've done something like that.  Unless you have a history with the girl of more than five minutes and she trusts you and invites you in, don't hop into bed with her.  Couches aren't that uncomfortable.  Cots aren't that uncomfortable.  Ring room service, spring for the $20 it'll take to get a set of extra blankets.  Hell, you're Christian fucking Grey, they won't charge you bupkiss for it.  Sleep somewhere else.

Rant kinda over for now.   Let's talk toothbrushes.

Um...  Ew.  She used his toothbrush.  This is my squick but I just shivered all over when I read that she was using his toothbrush.  Apart from being a stupid, irresponsible thing to do, just no!  Do you know where it was?  Do you know he doesn't use it to clean the fluff from his bum?  Nope!  Err on the side of caution.  Use your finger and a shedload of toothpaste like the rest of us.  Mouthwash too if you can (or the old fashioned trick of toothpaste and a mouthful of water if he doesn't have any), but don't use someone else's toothbrush.  Ew!!

And now we're back to the most romantic line ever said in a romance novel:

“Oh, fuck the paperwork,” he growls. He lunges at me, pushing me against the wall of the elevator. Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in one of his in a vice-like grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his hips. Holy shit. His other hand grabs my ponytail and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine. It’s only just not painful. I moan into his mouth, giving his tongue an opening. He takes full
advantage, his tongue expertly exploring my mouth. I have never been kissed like this. My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow erotic dance that’s all about touch and sensation, all bump and grind. He brings his hand up to grasp my chin and holds me in place. I am helpless, my hands pinned, my face held, and his hips restraining me. . I feel his erection against my belly. Oh my… He wants me. Christian Grey, Greek god, wants me, and I want him, here… now, in the elevator.

Oh, fuck the paperwork.  Have more special words ever been spoken?

"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough." - The Notebook, Nicholas Sparks

 Or

“You and I, it’s as though we have been taught to kiss in heaven and sent down to earth together, to see if we know what we were taught.”  Doctor Zhivago, Boris Pasternack

Or

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne

Nah, I'm going to go with 'Fuck the paperwork' as my all time classic romance line.  Why yes, it bugs me.  I mean...  Seriously?  That was the best you could come up with?

Also, lets look at the first kiss.  He pins her hands above her head, yanks on her hair and kisses her.  And what does she say about it? 'I have never been kissed like this.'  No shit, darling.  That's gotta be a first, given your oh so magnificant history of kisses.  Lets see, there's José and...  Nope, that's it.  Again, are you telling us that you've done something with someone before?  Because if you are, just come out and say it.

Okay, everything about this screams dominance, I'll give her that.  Pinned to a wall, unable to move with Christian in a superior position to her.  It's dominance, and Christian gets off on that.  Well, that's what we have to assume given that he's got a boner pressed into her belly.  Just how big is he anyway that it's pressing into your belly?  Are we talking salami sized here or is he just that tall (and Ana that short)...?

But, thankfully for Ana, she seems to like it, or if she doesn't like it, she seems to like Christian enough to let him have his domineering way with her.

[..] my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba.

Stop it.  Stop it right now.  Your inner goddess needs to grow the fuck up and stop referring to herself as an inner goddess.  That phrase gets right up my moon.  It's rapidly outshining (pun intended) LKH's beauty:

She glowed like she swallowed the sun.

Seriously, people, if you find yourself writing something like that.  Stop.  Put the keyboard down and grab a bottle of vodka.  You'll write much better afterwards.  Trust me.  It doesn't get much worse than 'inner goddess'.  Besides, if you have low self esteem, you're not going to call your mini-me a goddess.  

Okay, so I have an idea where the book is going sex-wise now and so far, I'm pretty much unimpressed.  Even more unimpressed than I was with the cable ties and natural fibre rope.

But... There is tea and cake resting on me finishing the book.  I'm up to page 58 of 356.  Just under 300 to go...  Who's got the cyanide?

Chapter 4

Red bull... Check.
Ice cream in the freezer... Check.
Copious amounts of alcohol... Ready to be downed.
Cover me, after a short sanity break, I'm going back in.

Quick Summary

Ana has been saved by the supposedly enigmatic Christian and has the movie heroine reaction of 'kiss me'.  However, he somehow resists the temptation and tells her that she should steer clear of him.  This fires off another round of low self esteem which I'm sad to say is becoming rather predictable. She cries a little and heads home to face 'an inquisition from Kate...  In other words, she came in crying and Kate expressed some concern.  She doesn't tell Kate much but Kate gets the gist of what happened and tried to bolster Ana's confidence but then pulls out the article and pretty much waves it in Ana's face...  Ana then retreats to bed and has coffee flavoured dreams.

So timeskip a few days to the final exam and she is done.  Like most students, her immediate thoughts turn to alcohol and we find out that Ana has never been drunk before, but she's contemplating it that night.  The girls get home and Ana has a parcel.  Christian has sent her a first edition set of Tess of the d'Urbervilles. So Ana does the logical thing and sends them back with a note which is a supposedly enigmatic quote from the book.

Ana and Kate hit the bar and Ana starts making up for lost time by downing margaritas.  Kate's well on her way to getting lucky and José is trying his luck again. Ana goes tto the bathroom and drunk dials Christian. She giggles at him and hangs up.  He calls back and there, sitting on the toilet, pants around her ankles, she answers it to hear. Christian say that he's coming to get her. Ana, now swimming in tequila, goes to stand outside for some air.  José goes with her with his 'I'm so drunk' ticket and ready to go.  He kisses her and she says no and tries to push him away.  José isn't big on understanding the blatantly obvious and Ana is saved by Christian who tracked her using her cellphone.  Ana is beyond drunk and throws up all over the sidewalk. José vanishes inside and Christian holds her hair.  He's going to take her home but Ana needs to tell Kate that she's leaving.

Kate, meanwhile, is so concerned for Ana that she had to console herself in the arms of Christian's brother.  Christian gets Ana a glass of water and then takes her dancing?  He tells his brother something and his brother tells Kate and finally they leave but then Ana passes out.

My Thoughts

So I may have shouted at this chapter a little.  Okay, more than a little.  I think the main thing in there that gets me is the inconsistency of the characters.  Take Kate for example.  I know I've picked on her before and I was starting to like her but then this chapter happened and I'm back on the fence about her again because I'm sure that she's going to swing constantly between being a friend and being an ass.

Let's start with when Ana gets back:

Oh no… not the Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition. I shake my head at her in a back-off now Kavanagh way – but I might as well be dealing with a blind, deaf mute.
“You’ve been crying,” she has an exceptional gift for stating the damned obvious sometimes. “What did that bastard do to you?” she growls, and her face – jeez, she’s scary.

Firstly, Ana, your friend seeing you in an emotional state and asking if you're okay is hardly an inquisition.  You really overreact.  Do you have issues with giving information to your friends?  Is there something that we're not seeing here?  That's twice that you've overreacted to your best friend asking you perfectly logical and, dare I say it, expected questions.  What's up with that?

Anyway, Kate in this section is worried about her friend and when Ana is reeling from the rejection, Kate tries to build her back up, combat her low self-esteem and give her a bit of a boost.  Ana reacts by saying:

Oh no. She’s off on this tirade again.

There's not taking complements well and then there's this.  Yet another overreaction by Ana.  Your friend thinks that you are pretty.  You have two very nice boys (at this point in the book anyway) after you and you still don't think that you're anything much.  Okay, so maybe a CEO corporate type who can put Kate's overly indulgent family to shame financially speaking is out of your league, but seriously, what is up with you that you can't even see that you're prettier than the average dog on the street.

But back to Kate.  We can clearly see her concern for her friend here, but then, to get her mind off the rejection, she shows her the article and the pictures.  Now, I know that the first thing I want to do when some handsome hottie says no to me is look at images of him or a write-up about him.  I mean, seriously, Kate?  You were doing so well too.  You've now lost some of those best friend points.  Seriously, it's right there in the Best Friend Manual (TM).  If your best friend has been horribly rejected by a waste of space, you are obliged to hold her hand, pour her a drink and double-scoop the ice cream while telling her that he's an idiot for not wanting her. But no, instead you flash pictures of the scorning man in front of her and make her read your not-quite-pulitzer-winning article.  *sigh*

And later...  Later it gets worse.  Ana goes drinking and as expected, she's a bit of a lightweight and gets herself drunk off her perky white ass for the first time in her life.  She says that she's not feeling great and that she's going to step out for some air and Kate mocks her for being a lightweight.  She isn't in the least bit concerned.  In fact, while Ana goes outside, throws up everything that she's ever eaten and meets her creepy, stalker love interest, Kate has moved from one boy to another and is smooching it up on the dancefloor. 

I don't know, maybe it's me, but if my friend is with me in a club, getting drunk off her ass for the first time in her life and then goes outside for some air, then I'm going to go with her.  Call me paranoid but I just don't like the fact that my drunk and vulnerable friend is going outside on her own into what is generally a predator rich environment.  And low and behold...  She finds not one but two predators.

Okay, so one predator is a pseudo-nice-though-still-creepy guy and the other is supposedly a close friend. 

Let's switch to José for a second.  I'm going to guess that Ana never really had that talk with José, you know the one where they both agree that they're just friends because José is pretty handsy in this chapter.  Let's see:

[H]e puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close.
“It means a lot to me that you’ll be there Ana,” he whispers in my ear. “Another margarita?”
“José Luis Rodriguez – are you trying to get me drunk? Because I think it’s working.” I giggle. “I think I’d better have a beer. I’ll go get us a pitcher.”

Okay, okay, so there are some mixed signals in there.  Ana's dialogue isn't particularly clear that she's not keen on a relationship.  He's whispering in her ear, she's joking back.  It's hackneyed dialogue but it pretty much comes down to flirting.  While Ana may not mean it, it's very clear that José has another idea completely.

He follows her outside, supposedly to check on her and then:

“Ana,” José has joined me. “You okay?”
“I think I’ve just had a bit too much to drink.” I smile weakly at him.
“Me too,” he murmurs, and his dark eyes are watching me intently. “Do you need a hand?” he asks and steps closer, putting his arm around me.
“José I’m okay. I’ve got this.” I try and push him away rather feebly.
“Ana, please,” he whispers, and now he’s holding me in his arms, pulling me close.
“José, what you doing?”
“You know I like you Ana, please.” He has one hand at the small of my back holding me against him, the other at my chin tipping back my head. Holy fuck… he’s going to kiss me.
“No José, stop – no.” I push him, but he’s a wall of hard muscle, and I cannot shift him. His hand has slipped into my hair, and he’s holding my head in place.
“Please, Ana, cariña,” he whispers against my lips. His breath is soft and smells too sweet – of margarita and beer. He gently trails kisses along my jaw up to the side of my mouth. I feel panicky, drunk, and out of control. The feeling is suffocating.
“José, no,” I plead. I don’t want this. You are my friend, and I think I’m going to throw up.

Okay, this is where I stop liking José.  It's just a kiss, I know, but honestly, she says no.  That's instantly the signal to back the hell off and stop whatever it is that you are doing.  Personal opinion on this one but I don't care if it's kissing or full on sex, if she says no, you back off.

The thing that annoys me on this is that she's ruined a perfectly good character for a one second stunt which has Christian Grey swooping in with the much overused line:

“I think the lady said no.”

Christian is a little...  Odd.  There's mixed messages aplenty with him this chapter.  On one hand, he tells her:

 “Anastasia, you should steer clear of me. I’m not the man for you,” he whispers.

But then he turns around and sends her a set of books worth over $14k.  That's a bit of a mixed message right there.  The quote doesn't help matters.

Why didn't you tell me there was danger?  Why didn't you warn me?
Ladies know what to guard against, because they read novels that tell them these tricks...

Alright, I'll admit, I was about twelve the last time that I tried to read that novel and I kinda gave up half way through because I thought there wasn't enough action in it and that it was a little stuffy.  The message is obvious, but honestly, did you really need to buy her first editions to get it across?  I mean, seriously, we know that you're rich.  We know that she likes Hardy.  At least he didn't write it on the inside cover.  I think she might just have gone postal on his ass.

Anyway, she sends it back with a message of her own and that's that.  But then, she drunk dials him while waiting in the queue for the ladies to ask him why he sent the books.  She doesn't get an answer and when he calls back, she is on the toilet.  Ladies, there is nothing more sexy than answering your phone while taking a drunken piss.  Seriously, next Saturday night when you're out...  Try it.  Singleville is calling you back.

Anyway, through the miracle of GPS tracking and modern technology, Christian tracks her cellphone.  Let's just say that again.  Christian Grey illegally tracked her cellphone.  Well, at least Ana's subconscious is smarter than she is:

Stalker, my subconscious whispers at me through the cloud of tequila that’s still floating in my brain...

But just as there is a glimmer of intelligence from Ana, it's killed in an instant.

...but somehow, because it’s him, I don’t mind.

 Okay, so while we have that going on, he's also holding back her hair as she pukes her guts up and takes care of her afterwards.  He offers to take her home and is generally a nice creepy-stalker-guy.  She goes in to tell Kate and collect her purse and he gets her a drink of water.  Kate is in the middle of the dancefloor, so Christian brings her out dancing. 

What?

They're actually dancing.  They're not moving over to Kate and Elliot (Christian's brother).  They're not being quick about it.  They're dancing.  Note to the ladies, if you've just added water into a volatile stomach, the best thing to do is to boogie it up on the dance floor.  Something else to note, if you are drunk and think that you are a good dancer, you're not.  Think Cameron Diaz in Charlies Angels.  That is you.  Don't do it.  Not even if your partner is hot, rich and has put up with you upchucking all over the ground.

Anyway, Christian tells Elliot who tells Kate who nods and isn't even concerned enough to ask if Ana's okay.  She just snuggles into Hottie Part Deux and lets Christian (the guy who rejected her best friend, the guy who she doesn't seem to like or trust in the previous chapter, the guy who made her best friend cry) whisk her best friend away.  Um...  Best friend card has been revoked, torn up and tossed in the trash.

So, Christain whisk Ana away from the dancefloor and then she faints, or blacks out, or something.  I really doubt that Kate will be there when she wakes up, although, maybe that was enough to guilt her into paying attention to her poor innocent friend who needs someone more experienced in the way of the sleezeball to guide her along the thorny path?

Which brings me to the last point that I'm going to make about this chapter.  Ana's sexual situation and the thoughts that she has as they relate to sex.  Just because it's funny, I'm going to start with this one:

In the back of my mind, my mother’s often-recited warning comes to me: Never trust a man who can dance.

Um... Okay.  I remember watching a film on Channel 4 back when I was living outside Navan and  the words stuck in my mind.  Never stray from the path, never eat a windfall apple and never trust a man whose eyebrows meet in the middle.  It was called The Company of Wolves and was a dark retelling of the Little Red Riding Hood story.  Now, in the context, it made sense why not to trust someone who was too hairy because lycanthropy and hirsutism go hand in paw, and all that rot.  I have no idea what to say about a man who can dance. 

Personally, if a guy can move his hips, then that's a plus point because he's going to be all the better in the sack later.  What?  I'm a realist.  If he's got rhythm, then he can probably keep up.

Anyway, there are lots of references in this chapter to safe sex.  There's the poster on the inside of the cubicle door in the bathroom.  Okay, so that's not out of the ordinary.  There's usually something about safe sex or bladder weakness from my experience, and when you're sitting there, there really is nothing else to read so... Ya know.  It sticks in your mind.

However, Ana feels that she needs to give the safe sex talk to Kate after Kate starts humping on Elliot.  Honey-child, no.  I don't think you do.  If she's done this often enough for you to realise that those moves are her 'going in for the kill' moves, then she's done this before and seeing as you're not swamped with dirty diapers or crying babies, I think she knows how this works.  Ana is definitely a prude.  I have a feeling that Ana's version of the safe sex talk is going to revolve heavily around the word abstinence.

Anyone else thinking that there are some dark things in Ana's cupboards that she's just not telling us?  Because honestly, I'm starting to think that she's had some unwelcomed advances during her younger, formative years.  Look at it?  It would explain a lot about her attitudes now.  But I have a feeling that we're never going to find out just why Ana is so frigid up until this point.

Part of me wants Christian to just get on with it so that she'll stop being so prudish and the other half of me wants to shout at her and tell her to run for the hills.  So far 'run for the hills' is winning, but the battle continues.  Tomorrow.

Chapter 3

And we're back with Chapter 3.  I'm hoping that it's going to get better.  I'm not holding out much hope but...  And to think, I haven't even gotten to the sex yet.

Quick Summary:

Ana tells Kate that Grey just happened to drop in to the mom'n'pop store that she happens to be working at.  They make arrangements for the photoshoot including the shanghaing of Chehkov's photographer.  Ana calls Grey and they purr at each other over the phone.  Also, Ana gets asked out by Paul (grocery owner's brother who is generally away at college), but she says no.  It's apparently a habit. 

Then they drive to Portland in two cars (can you smell the plot convenience?) because they can't fit everyone in the Bug along with all the equipment.  The hotel has given them a room for free and then upgraded them when they found out that Grey is the one that they're there to photograph.  Photographs happen and then Grey asks Ana for coffee.  She turns him down because she has to drive people back.  Grey counters with the offer of a driver.  Ana counters by swapping cars with Kate and they go for coffee.

Even going down in the elevator is an adventure for Ana and they interrupt a couple in a passionate cinch.   Ana is, of course, embarrassed.  They go for coffee, Christian gives her the third degree and they really don't tell us much.  He escorts her back to the car and saves her from a speeding cyclist...  And lo and behold, she finally wants to be kissed.

My Thoughts:

So, finally, there is a character in the book with some brains.  Unfortunately, it's Kate and not Ana.

“I think that is one huge coincidence, Ana. You don’t think he was there to see you?” she speculates. My heart lurches at the prospect, but it’s a short-lived joy. The dull, disappointing reality is that he was here on business.

 Ana is, again, wallowing in her own self-doubt and lack of self-esteem.  She's got one guy after her who has been looking to get into her pants for four years.  There's Paul who asks her out on a date every time he's home.  Then there's Christian who has turned up in the store where she works just to see her.  Honestly, I've heard of people being oblivious, but I have a feeling that EL James is doing the rookie mistake of overplaying the point.  We get it.  Ana is an innocent.  She has no idea about love or lust or sex.  Can we drop this point and move on to the next one?

“Anyway, want to grab a drink or something this evening?”
Whenever he’s home he asks me on a date, and I always say no. It’s a ritual. I’ve never considered it a good idea to date the boss’s brother, and besides, Paul is cute in a wholesome all-American boy-next-door kind of way, but he’s no literary hero, not by any stretch of the imagination. Is Grey? My subconscious asks me, her eyebrow figuratively raised. I slap her down.

 So, Paul is cute in the stereotypical all-American boy-next-door kinda way.  Blond and blue-eyed presumably.  What's not to like?  Oh wait, he doesn't have a tortured soul with a terrible back-story.  He wasn't raised in an orphanage.  He doesn't keep a dead wife in the closet...  Oh my God.  You've got two nice guys (and we have to assume that they are nice because we don't know anything about them) who are panting after you Ana.  What the heck do you want?

*sigh*  Okay, can we put this point to bed.  Please?  Kate had written a profile on the guy.  She knew lots about him.  She didn't tell Ana anything about him (which I'm finding very hard to believe because ya know, best friends and housemates...).  We don't have to be hit in the face with the information again and again and again...

“Ana, I’m a journalist, and I’ve written a profile on the guy. It’s my job to know this.”

Secondly, it's not your job to know this.  You're the editor of a student newspaper.  Typically, you're not getting paid anything more than expenses for this.  You want it to be your job presumably, but you kinda blew that by getting the flu and sending an untrained, unenthused friend to take the interview instead of another journalist...  Bad decisions, you made them.

Okay, so this chapter is getting to me a little.  There's just so much to wade through, like this chunk of dialogue.

“Miss Steele, we meet again.”

 Well, duh.  She called you to set up the photoshoot.  You gave her your card.  It's a logical assumption that she's going to be there.  Oh wait, are you trying to be witty?  With something out of a Bond movie?  *sigh*  I'm not sure that it's got quite the suaveness that you think it does.

But back to Kate.  I said that so far she seems like the only one with her head screwed on. 

“Ana, I think he definitely likes you,” she says with no preamble whatsoever. José glares at me with disapproval. “But I don’t trust him,” she adds.

You see?  She doesn't trust him!  Finally, someone else is picking up on his super-creepy exterior.   Listen to Kate, Ana.  Listen to her with both ears and take in her words.  This girl might just save your sanity, or at least your virginity.  But despite me shouting at Ana to listen to Kate, she doesn't.  There's an overwhelmingly complicated section about driving arrangements and how to make them work but really in the end it boils down to this:  If Christian Grey wants to have coffee with you, you are going to have coffee with Christian Grey.

 I am going to have coffee with Christian Grey... and I hate coffee.

 See?  What did I say? 

We walk together down the wide hotel corridor to the elevators. What should I say to him? My mind is suddenly paralyzed with apprehension. What are we going to talk about? What on Earth do I have in common with him?

This right here is about the only thing in this chapter that I can connect with.  That moment of wonder when you try to plan what you're going to say and try to string some words together that won't make you sound a hormonal idiot on the cusp of stupidity.  You know what I'm talking about.  It's the part of your mind that convinces you that not sticking straws up your nose during lulls in conversation is possibly the best course of action if you don't want him running for the hills, and that discussing how awful your first time was with the guy who's squimish because a night in ER after he faints and hits his head on the corner of the table is not really the best first date.

 Of course, there is also part of me that is shouting at Ana that the only thing that they have in common is that they want to bump uglies with each other.  But then I'd have to explain the phrase to her and listen to a long rambling whine on how he's just not that into her...  *sigh*  I had vodka around here somewhere. 

Aside:  Seriously, this book should not be a drinking game.  Three paragraphs in you would be drunk.  Four paragraphs in, alcohol poisoning...  Five?  Flatline...

But... But...  There is a small glimmer of hope on the horizon.

“How long have you known Katherine Kavanagh?”
Oh, an easy questions for starters.
“Since our freshman year. She’s a good friend.”
“Hmm,” he replies, non-committal. What is he thinking?

Is that a mystery point?  Is that something that foreshadows some secret that Christian knows?  Couple this with the I don't trust him and I've got an inkling in the back of my mind that Kate and Christian have met before under less than auspicious circumstances...  Ah hah!  Plot!  I knew there had to be some in there somewhere.  Can't have a book without plot and seeing as this is a book (you can tell because it has paper, a cover and a pricetag), there has to be some plot in there!  I don't even care at this point that it's probably just an illusion, a mirage that is sailing low across the desert.  I'm clinging on and you can't stop me.

But as soon as it appears, it disappears...  There's yet another pointer to Ana's innocence.  They come across a canoodling couple in the elevator and Ana blushs.  I'm starting to think that Ana needs to visit someone who deals with vascular disorders because the amount of time that she spends blushing is not natural. 

The couple in the elevator jump apart as they are interrupted and Ana and Christian step into the world's only silent hotel elevator.  Nothing happens there and then they step out.

 “What is it about elevators?” he mutters.

 The above is said by Christian if you hadn't guessed.  I really don't want Christian to start going down the naive path too because two people down the naive path with not a map between them means that they are going to end up in Norfolk and that's not something that should happen to anyone, even Ana.  Christian, I might consider.

There follows a section where Ana is gushing about holding Christian's hand.  I don't want to spoil anyone but if she's gushing about holding his hand, how the heck is she going to feel when she's holding his...  Well, you all know what she's going to be holding.  My money is going to be on the fact that she blushes.  Any takers?

EL James has actually made me find tea boring.  Shock horror.  I know.  But she has actually made me yawn about my favourite beverage (after Irish Whiskey of course). 

“Why don’t you choose a table, while I get the drinks. What would you like?” he asks, polite as ever.
“I’ll have… um – English Breakfast tea, bag out.”
He raises his eyebrows.
“No coffee?”
“I’m not keen on coffee.”
He smiles.
“Okay, bag out tea. Sugar?”
For a moment, I’m stunned, thinking it’s an endearment, but fortunately my subconscious kicks in with pursed lips. No, stupid – do you take sugar?
“No thanks.” I stare down at my knotted fingers.
“Anything to eat?”
“No thank you.” I shake my head, and he heads to the counter.

Is there any information in that section?  No. 
Is there anything new added to the story?  Nope.
Is this just there to fill space?  Probably.

Think about it for a minute.  If you're going to a coffeeshop and someone asks you what you want to drink, does it usually take two minutes to get your order out?  I mean, for something as simple as English Breakfast tea?  Next time you go out, time it?  Not even your barista will take that long getting your order off you. 

It's a rookie mistake and one that would have been knocked out of her during any introduction to Creative Writing class.  The reader signs up to read exciting things, the banal has no place in there unless it's telling us something.  It's not even a real setup for anything.  There's nothing in there that can be reused at this point.  Nothing to add to the forthcoming interrogation scene, which by the way, isn't really an interrogation scene apart from showing us how abrupt Christian is.

 “You seem nervous around men.”
Holy crap, that’s personal. I’m just nervous around you, Grey.
“I find you intimidating.” I flush scarlet, but mentally pat myself on the back for my candor, and gaze at my hands again. I hear his sharp intake of breath.
“You should find me intimidating,” he nods. “You’re very honest. Please don’t look down. I like to see your face.”

 Alright, I have two points on this.  Well, that's not quite true but I'm going to keep it to two points.  The first is this:  Christian has her pegged very quickly.  It's not that hard to do but that's good, it's out of the way early.  Christian is very forthright.  He calls things as he sees them when he's not playing word and power games. 

The second is a bit of an odd one.  There's a tone of voice that one associates with a Top/Dom/Master/Whatever you want to call him, that is the product of training and practice.  I'm getting some of this from Christian, but I'm honestly not sure if that's my transferrance or if that's just the way the dialogue is.  But, one thing ruins it, 'Please'.  Everything else is controlling.  Everything else is Christian showing his power.  But the 'Please' really doesn't fit with that.  For a top, he's saying the right words for the most part but it's little slips like that, that make me want to go find her editor, take her to a BDSM meetup and sit her down with a notepad.

Okay, the following piece of dialogue sparked horribly for me. 

“I don’t doubt it. Why haven’t you asked me to call you by your first name?” I’m surprised by my audacity. [...]
“The only people who use my given name are my family and a few close friends. That’s the way I like it.”
Oh. He still hasn’t said, ‘Call me Christian.’ He is a control freak, there’s no other explanation.

 Why haven't you asked me to call you by your first name?  Seriously?  Maybe he doesn't like his first name?  Maybe he's got some other name that he likes to be called by?  Maybe you've only spent a grand total of an hour in his company - including the photoshoot where you didn't talk to him? 

Okay, okay, I know what the author is trying to tip her hand to here but there are so many better ways to do it.  Christian is not giving her an equal footing.  While he can call her whatever he wants; Anastasia, Miss Steele, Ana... , she must call him Mister Grey (oh apart from that time when she called him Christian in his office but we'll just wipe that under the carpet shall we?).  Yes, this has all the classic signs of a powerplay setup but it's clumsy.  Yes, Christian is a control freak.  We already know this, by the way, you've called him that before.  Twice. 

The last major point with this chapter comes from this line:

He smiles his odd I’ve got a whopping big secret smile.

This bugs me in so many ways.  I played a role-playing game (the one with dice rather than the bedroom sort, get your minds out of the gutters before I start charging you rent!) once where my character found a Swiss Army Knife and didn't tell the other characters.  One of the other players decided to try a "That's the smile of someone who just found a Swiss Army Knife" approach to get the information out of me.  Needless to say, that didn't work and this isn't working either.  What does an I've got a whopping big secret smile look like?  Can you tell that from a This girl is nuts smile?  How about a If I get back to Seattle by six I can hit up my secretary for a little after-hours action smile?  Do you know what that smile looks like?  As I've said, she's spent an hour with him and already she knows all of his facial expressions.  Man, that girl works quick.

Less is more.  Foreshadow without thumping us over the head.  Subtlety is your friend when you're writing.

Yet again I find myself wondering at Ana and how she has survived in the world up until now.  She is clueless about men and couldn't pick up a clue if it had handles.  Christian is playing a shadowy game that is supposed to be dark and mysterious but it's kinda coming off a little more Mwa Ha Ha than seriously mysterious.  Maybe that's why I find him creepy.  So far, Kate is the only character that I'm liking.

I'm still hoping that the seedling of plot is going to grow into something bigger, but that'll have to wait until tomorrow.

 

Chapter 2

Okay, so today I get to read Chapter 2.

Quick Summary:

Ana manages to get back to her friends car without tripping over her feet (major achievement) and back to WSU without incident.  Kate's feeling better but wearing her break-up PJ's.  They have a brief chat about how Christian was totally into her.  There's a phonecall with her mom, a phonecall with the man she considers her dad, even though neither of those conversations really add anything to the story.

We meet José who wants to do naughty things to Ana but she doesn't like him that way.  She thinks he's starting to get the message while he's popping open a bottle of champagne and smiling at her.  Yeah, he's gotten the message.

Then she goes to work and wowee, who happens to show up but Christian Grey (because he was in the area - hands up who believes that).  He gets her to help him fill his kinky shopping list and gets jealous when she hugs another friend that she hasn't seen in ages.  He also agrees to a photoshoot to go along with the article if she can find a photographer.  Oh wait, Chekhov's photographer already got introduced.

My Thoughts:

Okay, so we start this chapter on a bit of a stupid note:

No man has ever affected me the way Christian Grey has, and I cannot fathom why. Is it his looks? His civility? Wealth? Power? I don’t understand my irrational reaction. [...] I shake my head. Holy crap – what was that?

Are you seriously trying to tell me that you have no clue why you're breathing fast?  Seriously girl, have you never been in lust before?  Okay, hang on...  Backtrack for a second.  I get the looks, wealth and power but his civility?  I know walking down the street, I've often been found to remark 'Damn, that man has a fine set of manners'.  I mean, haven't we all? 

I'm, again, having a hard time putting myself into Ana's shoes.  Maybe I'm just a little more sexually liberated than she is, but when I was in my early 20's, I knew what it meant when my heart did that little skippity-skip double beat.  She's incredibly naive in my incredibly humble opinion.  Girl, get out there, go drinking with a few friends, go dancing, kiss someone for God's sake.  And if you can't do that, go to Anne Summer's or equivalent and get some of that stress worked out. 

Again, I’m irritated that Kate didn’t give me a brief biography. [...] “Don’t you look so innocent. Why didn’t you give me a biography? He made me feel like such an idiot for skimping on basic research.”

*facepalm*  Okay, I mentioned this in the last chapter, but seriously.  You have enough time to call your job and tell them that there's a chance that you're not going to be there for your shift.  The owner's wife says that she wasn't expecting Ana in, but you don't have enough time to fire up a computer and type something into Google?

Christian Grey is 27 years old and the CEO/Owner of a company that is successful enough to hire 40,000 people, which is roughly the size of Microsoft just to put it in perspective by the way.  I'm fairly sure that there's going to be a writeup in some of the business journals or on Wikipedia.  I mean, it's rare enough that it's going to raise a couple of eyebrows.  He's featured in society pages at the very least.  There was no reason for you to walk into that interview unprepared except for your own stupidity and laziness and neither of those endear you to me, Ana.  So Kate didn't think to include a top sheet on the guy, but she's sick, remember?  Ever had the flu?  I can barely remember my name when I have the flu.  Stop blaming your friend for this.

While cruising along the I-5, my mind continues to wander. [...]  I check the speedometer. I’m driving more cautiously than I would on any other occasion. [...]  As I hit the 1-5, I realize I can drive as fast as I want.

This one is a bit of a technical issue that I have with the chapter.  Each line comes from a different paragraph which follows on from the previous paragraph.  In the space of three chapters, she has joined the I-5 and started cruising along it, then cut her speed and then joined the I-5 again.  I'm going to say that she got lost somewhere along the way and had to try to find her way back onto the I-5. 

Kate’s parents bought the place for her, and I pay peanuts for rent. It’s been home for four years now.

Ah hah!  So Kate is a rich kid.  That explains how she has a CLK, but wow, her parents bought her a house for a 4 year college course before she actually decides that she wants to stay in college.  Disposable income or what?

“I was beginning to worry. I expected you back sooner.”
“Oh, I thought I made good time considering the interview ran over.” I wave the mini-disc recorder at her.

3 hours there, 3 hours back and an interview with a busy man...  Just exactly when did you expect her back?  And as if that isn't bad enough.  THE INTERVIEW RAN OVER!  What?  How?  What the hell?  You asked him like 10 questions and they weren't very open questions.  How long had he scheduled for the interview?  Five minutes? 

I’m glad I’ll never have to lay eyes on him again.

 Apart from when he hands you your diploma you mean?  And delivers the commencement speech at your graduation?  I suppose she could skip her graduation, but that seems to have slipped Ana's mind totally.

 Katherine often teases me that I’m missing the need-a-boyfriend gene, but the truth is – I just haven’t met anyone who… well, whom I’m attracted to, even though part of me longs for those trembling knees, heart-in-my-mouth, butterflies-in-my-belly, sleepless nights.

Two words.  Anne Summers.  Another two words.  The internet.  Credit Card.  Web search.  It's not that hard girl.  You really need to get out more.  Okay, so she hasn't met someone that she's interested in romantically, but is she really saying that she's never had a crush?  Ever?

Hang on a second, lets look at the imagery there.  I haven't really had any of those things either.  My knees have never trembled when I met someone, and my heart has never jumped into my mouth until I was about to make one of those emotionally vulnerable admissions.  I sleep fine at night, too, just in case you wondered. 

Okay, so given what I know of how the story is going to go, I have to be honest.  I don't think that Ana has the emotional wherewithal to get into a relationship with a) an older man, b) any BDSM aspects, c) anyone who is not a blushing virgin.  She's incredibly naive.  She's emotionally underdeveloped so far.  She's vulnerable in the way that a lamb is vulnerable to a wolf wearing a sheepskin.  She's got no realistic view of relationships if that is her idea of what romance is.  She can't even work out what she's feeling for Grey earlier in the chapter, but when he shows up in the store (because yeah, that's not creepy at all), she completely buys that he just happened to be in the area and in need for some DIY stuff...  Come here, girl, I got a bridge with your name on it.

 Cable ties [...] Masking tape [...] five yards of the natural filament rope [...] Coveralls

Anyone else raising an eyebrow at that list?  There's ways to be obvious and then there's Christian Grey.  Okay, so lets look at the list.  The least offensive item on the list is the masking tape (mainly cause it's no fecking use for any sort of serious bondage or gagging because it's about as sticky as wet paper), followed by the rope (which is going to be a little rough by the way and not what I'd favour because rope burns are definitely not romantic), but cable ties?  No f-ing way.  Cable ties are one of those things that you see people use in videos or on cop shows because they are very quick to apply, but they come with a huge danger of cutting off circulation.  There's also no easy out from cable ties.  They have to be cut and they're rather tough to cut so if the sub is panicking, you've got some major hacking to do to get them free.

I'm not even going to talk about the coveralls, because seriously?  Do I need to?
 

“Are you redecorating?” The words are out before I can stop them. Surely he hires laborers or has staff to help him decorate?
“No, not redecorating,” he says quickly then smirks, and I have the uncanny feeling that he’s laughing at me.
Am I that funny? Funny looking?

 Oh poor naive Ana. You are just so blonde!  You may have brown hair but honestly, girl, that is just dumb with a side of stupid.  He's laughing at your innocence and the fact that you couldn't pick up a clue with handles and a manual.  Seriously?

"I have the uncanny feeling that he's laughing at me." D'uh.  Yes, he is laughing at you.  He's thinking that you are going to be so easy to roll.  

Okay – I like him. There, I’ve admitted it to myself. I cannot hide from my feelings anymore. I’ve never felt like this before. I find him attractive, very attractive. But it’s a lost cause, I know, and I sigh with bittersweet regret. It was just a coincidence, his coming here. But still, I can admire him from afar, surely? No harm can come of that. And if I find a photographer, I can do some serious admiring tomorrow. I bite my lip in anticipation and find myself grinning like a schoolgirl.

 Paging José, the guy who was the first person that you met when you came to college, the guy whose dad is friends with the man you consider your dad, the guy who invited you to his photography show, ya know, the one about whom you said: "José has a great eye for a good picture."  I mean, seriously.  This is Chehkov's photographer.  You've mentioned him, you have to use him.

Ana is a character who, if this was a movie, I would be shouting at every time she came on screen.  Christian is a guy with too much time on his hands and a fetish for stalking.  He's starting to come off as the sort of guy who mum's warn their kids about.  He is coming off as older than 27, but that makes sense if he's running a mega-corp.  Ana's coming in a lot younger than 24 though.  Also, lets do some math here.  She's 24 and she's graduating from an arts course.  That's 3-4 years.  So she either went into college at 20-21 (1-2 years later than the usual entry age) or she went to college and she failed a few years.  Either way, the math doesn't work, and what's worse is that I'd find her a lot more believable if she was 21.

Mixed feelings about Christian, I have to admit, at the moment, but I can't actually relate to Ana.  That may change, but...

Chapter 3 tomorrow.  Someone remind me why I'm doing this to myself?  Oh yeah, tea and a huge slice of Accent's chocolate cake!  Eyes on the prize, girl.  We're going to get through this even if it kills us.

Chapter 1

First, let me start off with what an opening sentence should be.  It should be a hook.  It should draw you in and tug you on to the next sentence and then onto the next sentence.

"I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror."

I just don't find it a compelling start.  But I have to read on no matter what.  What have I let myself in for?

Quick summary:

Ana is an idiot and finds herself agreeing to drive 165 miles from Vancouver to Seattle, not Vancouver, Canada but Vancouver, WA, because her best friend, Kate, has the flu and has convinced Ana to go to interview a corporate tycoon who she knows nothing about.  Her friend gives her no prep on the guy (and Ana is apparently ignorant of Google and it's powerful searching capabilities) but does give her a list of questions (that she seems to forget as soon as she gets into the room with Grey).  From the sounds of it, it's not the first time that Kate has pulled this crap on Ana but Ana still thinks that she is beautiful.

So Kate lends Ana her Merc CLK and Ana speeds off to another country and goes into the stereotypical corporate offices of Grey's company where everyone is preternaturally beautiful and blonde.  Ana feels out of place as soon as she arrives because she hasn't dressed up.  Christian Grey must pay very well because even the security guards are dressed to the nines.  There's an intern there who makes the cardinal sin of not offering a cup of tea.  How dreadful!  But worry not, there is a senior blonde, beautiful secretary there to point out the error of her ways.

She gets to meet Grey and immediately falls over her feet.  Grey helps her up and she fumbles everything.  She goes off script pretty much straight away (forgetting the questions and not even looking down at the questions in front of her) and Grey is starting to get pissed off until she slips in that Kate compiled the questions and that Ana didn't have anything to do with the questions.

She ends the interview rather quickly and without asking anything even resembling a good question and Grey is all over her like slime on a snail.  Eventually, she leaves, with the intern doing a sterling job of summoning the elevator.  Sparks fly between Ana and Christian and the chapter ends.

My Thoughts:

After the first section, I find myself not liking Kate at all.  You have the flu, but you ask your best friend with no interest in journalism and a full schedule to drive 165 miles to ask some industrialist some questions.  165 miles takes at least three hours to drive, and three hours back.  That's six hours before you even start thinking about finding the building, parking and actually asking the questions.  Why couldn't she have called in another journalist?  If it's taken 9 months to organise an interview, then this is a big deal and she could set up another budding journalist who will be able to use it for their portfolio and will owe her major favours.

Only for you, Kate, would I do this.
“I will. Good luck. And thanks Ana – as usual, you’re my lifesaver.”
Gathering my satchel, I smile wryly at her, then head out the door to the car. I cannot believe I have let Kate talk me into this. But then Kate can talk anyone into anything. She’ll make an exceptional journalist. She’s articulate, strong, persuasive, argumentative, beautiful – and she’s my dearest, dearest friend.

Ana, you need to wise up.  She's already sounding like a user.  The 'as usual' says that she's asked you to pull her ass out of the fire before and you've bent and taken it before.  You say that she's 'articulate, strong, persuasive, argumentative, beautiful' and I think 'she better be a fantastic lay'.  I'm being a little unfair though, I think.  I may be reading too much into that paragraph, but those are my first impressions of Kate so far.

Also, what student has a Mercedes CLK?  I'm starting to get suspicious of Kate.  No spoilers please, but honestly, she's dealing drugs on the side or operating as a professional madam or something, yeah?

I can understand Ana's feelings once she gets to office but I have to think that it's her own fault.  If you know that you're going to be interviewing the CEO of an organisation that employs 40,000 people, wouldn't you dress up a little more, try to look a little professional?  She kinda does this by putting on her one and only skirt, a pair of boots and a jumper.  When your mate owns a CLK and doesn't object to lending it to you, she can probably lend you a few things from her wardrobe.  The one thing that comes across in the whole description of the office, the people and everything about the introductions to Christian Grey's empire points to the fact that Ana is suffering from low self-esteem.

Grey, on the other hand, is introduced as the stereotypical golfing CEO but there's something about Christian that rings all the wrong bells.  He starts off as a nice guy, helping up the clumsy girl, but as soon as he senses weakness, he pounces.  He turns the whole interview around on her and then comes just shy of offering her a job.  Sexual harrassment in the workplace anyone?

There's definitely lust there, on Ana's side anyway, but Christian with his gut feelings and ability to judge people, I'm not sure that he doesn't smell an easy mark.  And that's what she is.  She has no plans for the future that don't involve moving to the city with her friend. 

At the moment, I can identify with Ana, but Christian leaves me feeling very conflicted.  Ana seems to have called it right when she calls him a control freak.

Chapter 2 next...

Scattered Beginnings

Okay, so due to some prompting from my friends, I appear to have signed up to read 50 Shades of Grey and to put together an honest review of the book.  I have some company on this, but I'm really doing this to earn tea and cake!  I'm going to aim for a chapter per post and trying to put together some of my feelings on what I think of it.  I'm also hoping for at least one chapter per day.  Fingers crossed, people.  I'm going in...