Chapter 4

Red bull... Check.
Ice cream in the freezer... Check.
Copious amounts of alcohol... Ready to be downed.
Cover me, after a short sanity break, I'm going back in.

Quick Summary

Ana has been saved by the supposedly enigmatic Christian and has the movie heroine reaction of 'kiss me'.  However, he somehow resists the temptation and tells her that she should steer clear of him.  This fires off another round of low self esteem which I'm sad to say is becoming rather predictable. She cries a little and heads home to face 'an inquisition from Kate...  In other words, she came in crying and Kate expressed some concern.  She doesn't tell Kate much but Kate gets the gist of what happened and tried to bolster Ana's confidence but then pulls out the article and pretty much waves it in Ana's face...  Ana then retreats to bed and has coffee flavoured dreams.

So timeskip a few days to the final exam and she is done.  Like most students, her immediate thoughts turn to alcohol and we find out that Ana has never been drunk before, but she's contemplating it that night.  The girls get home and Ana has a parcel.  Christian has sent her a first edition set of Tess of the d'Urbervilles. So Ana does the logical thing and sends them back with a note which is a supposedly enigmatic quote from the book.

Ana and Kate hit the bar and Ana starts making up for lost time by downing margaritas.  Kate's well on her way to getting lucky and José is trying his luck again. Ana goes tto the bathroom and drunk dials Christian. She giggles at him and hangs up.  He calls back and there, sitting on the toilet, pants around her ankles, she answers it to hear. Christian say that he's coming to get her. Ana, now swimming in tequila, goes to stand outside for some air.  José goes with her with his 'I'm so drunk' ticket and ready to go.  He kisses her and she says no and tries to push him away.  José isn't big on understanding the blatantly obvious and Ana is saved by Christian who tracked her using her cellphone.  Ana is beyond drunk and throws up all over the sidewalk. José vanishes inside and Christian holds her hair.  He's going to take her home but Ana needs to tell Kate that she's leaving.

Kate, meanwhile, is so concerned for Ana that she had to console herself in the arms of Christian's brother.  Christian gets Ana a glass of water and then takes her dancing?  He tells his brother something and his brother tells Kate and finally they leave but then Ana passes out.

My Thoughts

So I may have shouted at this chapter a little.  Okay, more than a little.  I think the main thing in there that gets me is the inconsistency of the characters.  Take Kate for example.  I know I've picked on her before and I was starting to like her but then this chapter happened and I'm back on the fence about her again because I'm sure that she's going to swing constantly between being a friend and being an ass.

Let's start with when Ana gets back:

Oh no… not the Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition. I shake my head at her in a back-off now Kavanagh way – but I might as well be dealing with a blind, deaf mute.
“You’ve been crying,” she has an exceptional gift for stating the damned obvious sometimes. “What did that bastard do to you?” she growls, and her face – jeez, she’s scary.

Firstly, Ana, your friend seeing you in an emotional state and asking if you're okay is hardly an inquisition.  You really overreact.  Do you have issues with giving information to your friends?  Is there something that we're not seeing here?  That's twice that you've overreacted to your best friend asking you perfectly logical and, dare I say it, expected questions.  What's up with that?

Anyway, Kate in this section is worried about her friend and when Ana is reeling from the rejection, Kate tries to build her back up, combat her low self-esteem and give her a bit of a boost.  Ana reacts by saying:

Oh no. She’s off on this tirade again.

There's not taking complements well and then there's this.  Yet another overreaction by Ana.  Your friend thinks that you are pretty.  You have two very nice boys (at this point in the book anyway) after you and you still don't think that you're anything much.  Okay, so maybe a CEO corporate type who can put Kate's overly indulgent family to shame financially speaking is out of your league, but seriously, what is up with you that you can't even see that you're prettier than the average dog on the street.

But back to Kate.  We can clearly see her concern for her friend here, but then, to get her mind off the rejection, she shows her the article and the pictures.  Now, I know that the first thing I want to do when some handsome hottie says no to me is look at images of him or a write-up about him.  I mean, seriously, Kate?  You were doing so well too.  You've now lost some of those best friend points.  Seriously, it's right there in the Best Friend Manual (TM).  If your best friend has been horribly rejected by a waste of space, you are obliged to hold her hand, pour her a drink and double-scoop the ice cream while telling her that he's an idiot for not wanting her. But no, instead you flash pictures of the scorning man in front of her and make her read your not-quite-pulitzer-winning article.  *sigh*

And later...  Later it gets worse.  Ana goes drinking and as expected, she's a bit of a lightweight and gets herself drunk off her perky white ass for the first time in her life.  She says that she's not feeling great and that she's going to step out for some air and Kate mocks her for being a lightweight.  She isn't in the least bit concerned.  In fact, while Ana goes outside, throws up everything that she's ever eaten and meets her creepy, stalker love interest, Kate has moved from one boy to another and is smooching it up on the dancefloor. 

I don't know, maybe it's me, but if my friend is with me in a club, getting drunk off her ass for the first time in her life and then goes outside for some air, then I'm going to go with her.  Call me paranoid but I just don't like the fact that my drunk and vulnerable friend is going outside on her own into what is generally a predator rich environment.  And low and behold...  She finds not one but two predators.

Okay, so one predator is a pseudo-nice-though-still-creepy guy and the other is supposedly a close friend. 

Let's switch to José for a second.  I'm going to guess that Ana never really had that talk with José, you know the one where they both agree that they're just friends because José is pretty handsy in this chapter.  Let's see:

[H]e puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close.
“It means a lot to me that you’ll be there Ana,” he whispers in my ear. “Another margarita?”
“José Luis Rodriguez – are you trying to get me drunk? Because I think it’s working.” I giggle. “I think I’d better have a beer. I’ll go get us a pitcher.”

Okay, okay, so there are some mixed signals in there.  Ana's dialogue isn't particularly clear that she's not keen on a relationship.  He's whispering in her ear, she's joking back.  It's hackneyed dialogue but it pretty much comes down to flirting.  While Ana may not mean it, it's very clear that José has another idea completely.

He follows her outside, supposedly to check on her and then:

“Ana,” José has joined me. “You okay?”
“I think I’ve just had a bit too much to drink.” I smile weakly at him.
“Me too,” he murmurs, and his dark eyes are watching me intently. “Do you need a hand?” he asks and steps closer, putting his arm around me.
“José I’m okay. I’ve got this.” I try and push him away rather feebly.
“Ana, please,” he whispers, and now he’s holding me in his arms, pulling me close.
“José, what you doing?”
“You know I like you Ana, please.” He has one hand at the small of my back holding me against him, the other at my chin tipping back my head. Holy fuck… he’s going to kiss me.
“No José, stop – no.” I push him, but he’s a wall of hard muscle, and I cannot shift him. His hand has slipped into my hair, and he’s holding my head in place.
“Please, Ana, cariña,” he whispers against my lips. His breath is soft and smells too sweet – of margarita and beer. He gently trails kisses along my jaw up to the side of my mouth. I feel panicky, drunk, and out of control. The feeling is suffocating.
“José, no,” I plead. I don’t want this. You are my friend, and I think I’m going to throw up.

Okay, this is where I stop liking José.  It's just a kiss, I know, but honestly, she says no.  That's instantly the signal to back the hell off and stop whatever it is that you are doing.  Personal opinion on this one but I don't care if it's kissing or full on sex, if she says no, you back off.

The thing that annoys me on this is that she's ruined a perfectly good character for a one second stunt which has Christian Grey swooping in with the much overused line:

“I think the lady said no.”

Christian is a little...  Odd.  There's mixed messages aplenty with him this chapter.  On one hand, he tells her:

 “Anastasia, you should steer clear of me. I’m not the man for you,” he whispers.

But then he turns around and sends her a set of books worth over $14k.  That's a bit of a mixed message right there.  The quote doesn't help matters.

Why didn't you tell me there was danger?  Why didn't you warn me?
Ladies know what to guard against, because they read novels that tell them these tricks...

Alright, I'll admit, I was about twelve the last time that I tried to read that novel and I kinda gave up half way through because I thought there wasn't enough action in it and that it was a little stuffy.  The message is obvious, but honestly, did you really need to buy her first editions to get it across?  I mean, seriously, we know that you're rich.  We know that she likes Hardy.  At least he didn't write it on the inside cover.  I think she might just have gone postal on his ass.

Anyway, she sends it back with a message of her own and that's that.  But then, she drunk dials him while waiting in the queue for the ladies to ask him why he sent the books.  She doesn't get an answer and when he calls back, she is on the toilet.  Ladies, there is nothing more sexy than answering your phone while taking a drunken piss.  Seriously, next Saturday night when you're out...  Try it.  Singleville is calling you back.

Anyway, through the miracle of GPS tracking and modern technology, Christian tracks her cellphone.  Let's just say that again.  Christian Grey illegally tracked her cellphone.  Well, at least Ana's subconscious is smarter than she is:

Stalker, my subconscious whispers at me through the cloud of tequila that’s still floating in my brain...

But just as there is a glimmer of intelligence from Ana, it's killed in an instant.

...but somehow, because it’s him, I don’t mind.

 Okay, so while we have that going on, he's also holding back her hair as she pukes her guts up and takes care of her afterwards.  He offers to take her home and is generally a nice creepy-stalker-guy.  She goes in to tell Kate and collect her purse and he gets her a drink of water.  Kate is in the middle of the dancefloor, so Christian brings her out dancing. 

What?

They're actually dancing.  They're not moving over to Kate and Elliot (Christian's brother).  They're not being quick about it.  They're dancing.  Note to the ladies, if you've just added water into a volatile stomach, the best thing to do is to boogie it up on the dance floor.  Something else to note, if you are drunk and think that you are a good dancer, you're not.  Think Cameron Diaz in Charlies Angels.  That is you.  Don't do it.  Not even if your partner is hot, rich and has put up with you upchucking all over the ground.

Anyway, Christian tells Elliot who tells Kate who nods and isn't even concerned enough to ask if Ana's okay.  She just snuggles into Hottie Part Deux and lets Christian (the guy who rejected her best friend, the guy who she doesn't seem to like or trust in the previous chapter, the guy who made her best friend cry) whisk her best friend away.  Um...  Best friend card has been revoked, torn up and tossed in the trash.

So, Christain whisk Ana away from the dancefloor and then she faints, or blacks out, or something.  I really doubt that Kate will be there when she wakes up, although, maybe that was enough to guilt her into paying attention to her poor innocent friend who needs someone more experienced in the way of the sleezeball to guide her along the thorny path?

Which brings me to the last point that I'm going to make about this chapter.  Ana's sexual situation and the thoughts that she has as they relate to sex.  Just because it's funny, I'm going to start with this one:

In the back of my mind, my mother’s often-recited warning comes to me: Never trust a man who can dance.

Um... Okay.  I remember watching a film on Channel 4 back when I was living outside Navan and  the words stuck in my mind.  Never stray from the path, never eat a windfall apple and never trust a man whose eyebrows meet in the middle.  It was called The Company of Wolves and was a dark retelling of the Little Red Riding Hood story.  Now, in the context, it made sense why not to trust someone who was too hairy because lycanthropy and hirsutism go hand in paw, and all that rot.  I have no idea what to say about a man who can dance. 

Personally, if a guy can move his hips, then that's a plus point because he's going to be all the better in the sack later.  What?  I'm a realist.  If he's got rhythm, then he can probably keep up.

Anyway, there are lots of references in this chapter to safe sex.  There's the poster on the inside of the cubicle door in the bathroom.  Okay, so that's not out of the ordinary.  There's usually something about safe sex or bladder weakness from my experience, and when you're sitting there, there really is nothing else to read so... Ya know.  It sticks in your mind.

However, Ana feels that she needs to give the safe sex talk to Kate after Kate starts humping on Elliot.  Honey-child, no.  I don't think you do.  If she's done this often enough for you to realise that those moves are her 'going in for the kill' moves, then she's done this before and seeing as you're not swamped with dirty diapers or crying babies, I think she knows how this works.  Ana is definitely a prude.  I have a feeling that Ana's version of the safe sex talk is going to revolve heavily around the word abstinence.

Anyone else thinking that there are some dark things in Ana's cupboards that she's just not telling us?  Because honestly, I'm starting to think that she's had some unwelcomed advances during her younger, formative years.  Look at it?  It would explain a lot about her attitudes now.  But I have a feeling that we're never going to find out just why Ana is so frigid up until this point.

Part of me wants Christian to just get on with it so that she'll stop being so prudish and the other half of me wants to shout at her and tell her to run for the hills.  So far 'run for the hills' is winning, but the battle continues.  Tomorrow.